A Little Off Balance

My washer has been on the fritz for several months now. After faithfully enduring load after load of clothes for the last 15 years, it is starting to scream “uncle!” The biggest problem is that it gets off balance if I do a large load. Now, I have been known to overstuff things on occasion (just ask my husband about his pet peeve of my habit of filling the trash to overflowing). However, this loyal appliance and I have gotten to know each other over the years and I know what she can and cannot take. That is, until recently when she got all wimpy on me and can only hack a medium load of clothes. I’m a slow learner though and I continue to try to fill her to the brim like I could in the old days. It has been a hair splitting experience as it begins the spin cycle and makes this horrible clunking noise. As water spills out the top, the old machine begins to shake, rattle and roll across the floor. After a few big clunks it stops and I have to open the lid, rearrange the clothes and pray that it gets back on track. It usually doesn’t, so I have to stand there and baby it through the entire spin cycle, opening, rearranging, closing, opening, rearranging and closing, over and over again. Perhaps it’s time to call the repair man, huh?

Today as I coddled my washer through another spin cycle, I thought how much my life has been like that recently. You see, I got completely off balance and off track over the past week and my train derailed big time! It all started after I shared my testimony of coming to faith in Jesus Christ at a women’s event. Almost immediately, I started experiencing doubt and discouragement over it all. In my spirit I knew that I was likely being attacked by the fiery darts of the enemy who prowls about seeking someone to devour (I Peter 5:8). I knew that any time the redeeming work of Christ in a life transformed is shared, Satan is not happy. Despite my knowledge of the true victory of Christ, I could not seem to snap out of it. Instead of recognizing that I was in the midst of a battle and strapping on my armor, I overfilled my life with all the temporal stuff of the season. My schedule and my mind were filled with “stuff” like television, Christmas parties, shopping, gift wrapping, and baking, and on and on. I was going in a million different directions just trying to keep my head above water. I was doing a million different things, but in none of them was I seeking first His kingdom.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

By the end of the week, I was very depressed. My prayer life had taken a nose dive and it was a struggle to get anything out of the word. I was sleeping in until the last minute instead of rising early to meet with my Lord. I was going to bed early instead of reveling in the quiet time with my husband after the kids went to bed. I was overeating. I was not exercising. I had neglected doing devotions with the kids and I wasn't helping them memorize their Bible verses. I was irritable. I was snapping at them in anger and impatience. In short, I was living in defeat. I was letting the enemy do what he does best.

The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. John 10:10

As I look back over the course of the week and wonder how I ended up in this pit of despair, I am able to glean from the experience a couple of things. The first, of course, is the obstacle of my own sin…the sin of pride. Whether thinking too highly of myself or too lowly of myself, it’s still thinking of myself…not Him. My thoughts needed to shift from me-centered to God-centered. I need to seek His kingdom first not mine. The second snare was trying to muddle through the week on my own strength instead off crying out to God and relying upon Him. I should have stopped everything and set myself before Him on my knees. Instead, I stuffed and stuffed my life with the temporary trappings of this world, hoping they would somehow distract me and dull my pain. I should have armored up for battle.

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. Ephesians 6: 11-15

Thankfully, God is patient and kind. As I clunked along last week like that old washer, He stood over me with compassion and love, gently beckoning me back to Him. He reminded me that He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world (I John 4:4). His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30). He alone will give me rest for my soul. After I finished throwing my little pity party, He took all the lies and darkness in my mind and replaced it with His righteousness and truth. He chastened me back to Him and set my feet upon the Rock. He has faithfully awakened me each morning this week and called me to Himself. I have a whole new perspective as He has set me back on the path of righteousness, once again. As my friend, Abbie once said, "He commanded me to rise up and act like a redeemed daughter." Praise the Lord that He gives me the strength to do so. It's only by His grace and for His glory. Now that’s a lot better than a repair man!

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy. Jude 1:24

Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. Revelations 12:10