This blog has been a long time coming. If you know me at all, you know that when God shows me something new, I just can’t keep it to myself. This blog was born out of a revelation I had last spring when I realized I was too busy. My life had become so full that I was barely keeping my head above water. Though it was filled with wonderful things like Bible study, coffee with friends, evangelism outreaches and discipleship, it was full nonetheless…too full. Though my marriage was surviving and my children seemed happy, my home seemed in constant disarray. It was a struggle just to have groceries in the cupboards and clean socks in the drawers, let alone take time to plan and cook a healthy meal and sit down to a relaxed dinner with my family. I knew it was time to make some changes and pull out of some of the things I was doing. But, I had been to this decision point before. In fact, my husband assures me that it has become a repeated cycle of being too busy, promising to cut back only to end up at the same place again. However, this time is different…really. Why? Previously, my conviction was “mommy-guilt” and my desire to simplify my life was only in order to maintain sanity and prevent the family from falling apart. This time something was different…very different. This time, my conviction came straight from my Lord and Master and cut right to my heart. God began to prepare my heart with a passage in Revelation chapter 2. I remember weeping as I read it, knowing I had become like the church of Ephesus.
To the angel of the church of Ephesus write: The One who holds the seven stars in his right hand, the One who walks among the seven golden lampstands. Says this:
I know your deeds, your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you have found them to be false, and you have perseverance and have endured for My name’s sake, and have not grown weary.
But I hold this against you, that you have left your first love.
Therefore, remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first.
Revelation 2: 1-5
Had I gotten so busy with ministry, with evangelism and discipleship that I had forsaken the very One who redeemed my life from the pit? Was I so concerned with doing “God’s work” that I was no longer just sitting at His feet and coming to know Him more? In the days that followed, I did just that. I sat at His feet and listened. What He showed me completely changed my perspective as I came to understand His will for me as a wife and mother in Proverbs chapter 31. As I set out for a long run, I turned on my iPod to see what sermon I might listen to. It was keyed up and ready to play a message by Pastor John Macarthur on the role of the wife in a series “The Fulfilled Family”. I remember thinking I probably didn’t really need to listen to this one and actually considering skipping it! I expected to hear about submission, which is something I have embraced and treasured since I came to know the Lord. Little did I know how the Spirit would use it teaching to bring me to godly sorrow realizing how short I have fallen in what God desires for me in the role of the wife and mother in a Biblical family. As Macarthur talked about Proverbs 31 and the expectation God has for women to pour everything they have into their husband, children and home, my heart was breaking. I began to realize how backwards I have everything. I have been so focused on ministry, evangelism and discipleship that I have made that the “main thing”. My family had taken a back seat to all that I have going on. I had spent so much time and energy on people and things outside of home that I had little left for the people that matter most in my life.
A dear friend of mine pointed out a verse within Proverbs 31 that has changed my perspective. It is one that I often refer to now when trying to decide how to spend my time.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
She does him good and not evil
Proverbs 31: 11-12
The way I spend my time should benefit my husband. So, now when I am faced with a decision, I ask myself “Will this benefit my husband? Will it bring him good or evil?”
I was also reminded of the very reason for which woman was created.
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
These verses were so freeing to me! Being a prisoner of the Lord and a slave to righteousness is so glorious. God was so clear and so faithful to answer the plea of my heart to show me His will.
I have been amazed at the change that has occurred in my heart and home since this encounter with God last spring. It certainly has not been easy and I have had lots of ups and downs, but He has given me a new desire for my husband and children – the desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman. God tells us that no matter what we're doing, we should do it to glorify Him (I Cor. 10:31). I am coming to understand that this is a season of my life in which I can glorify His name in the simple things like playing Candy Land with my kids and stirring a pot of mashed potatoes. He is teaching me so much through it all. I can’t wait to see what’s next.
