Proverbs31wannabe

From Public High School Teacher to Seminary Student - Part 3

2010-09-04T22:46:00.001-07:00

A Place to Call Home

One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life. Psalm 27:4

With our Iowa house sold and the clear direction from God to move to California for Dave to attend The Master’s Seminary, we began to make our plans. The most obvious next step was to go visit the campus and look for housing. We booked our tickets and by the time we got on the plane in April, I was ready. I had done my research. I had made phone calls, sent emails and spent endless hours on the internet gaining “knowledge.” I had filled a binder full of all the information I had compiled. I knew exactly where we would and would not live. I had all but taken a map and drawn a circle around the place I had set my sights and a big red “x” on the area I refused to go. Not only that, but I was determined that we would be able to buy a home. Despite my husband’s attempts to persuade me, I thought renting seemed like a total waste of money.

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9

As I settled into my seat on the plane, I reached into my bag to find something to read. How providential it was that next to my binder of research was my Bible study called Legacy Living that my mentor, Linda Mohler, had written and sent with me. As I opened the folder, I saw the diagram of the house she had drawn entitled “A House Built God’s Way.”

We had just reviewed it recently and I had written in all the scripture references on the foundation, windows, doors, etc. She advised me to go back and look them up later. I decided now was a good time and started digging through my Bible. What I found was there was God Himself preparing my heart for what lay ahead. He was assuring me that my earthly dwelling really didn’t matter that much. What really mattered was building my life, my home, and my family upon the rock of Jesus Christ wherever we ended up.

For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. I Corinthians 3:11

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Psalm 127:1

There was one verse that seemed to speak right to my heart and told me I had been seeking the wrong kind of knowledge.

Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3-4

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight. Proverbs 9:10

Upon our arrival into LA, we drove to a “host home” that the seminary had arranged for us. As we drove to the home of Dan and Adriane Hull, night had just fallen and the city lights were bright. I was tense as we drove along, making sure my car door was locked. As we neared their home, my heart began to settle a bit. Here amidst the hustle bustle of the city was a quiet little neighborhood with quaint little homes and charming front porches.

Dan and Adriane greeted us warmly and within moments, I felt like I was home. Adriane’s quiet and gentle spirit put me at ease almost immediately. I remember thinking that the Lord must certainly dwell here. During our stay with the Hulls, I often heard Adriane humming sweet hymns softly as she worked around the house. The Lord knitted our hearts together with this couple and their adorable children. I was able to share my fears about living in LA and God used Adriane to speak truth over me. I will never forget when she looked right at me and said with all sincerity, “you don’t need to be afraid.” I knew she wasn’t talking about the city, but about being under the watchful care of our Father.

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8

Within a couple of days of looking at real estate, it was evident that we would not be able to afford to buy a home. We definitely had “sticker shock” as we realized that even renting would be an expensive option. Some encouraged us to consider living in an apartment for the first year. We knew we needed to be ready to surrender our will to God’s, but my flesh was screaming…”nooooo, not an apartment!” I just couldn’t imagine homeschooling three children in an apartment with no place to spread out, no place to play. We continued to pray together throughout the trip. I remember Dave petitioning before God specifically for a house, one with a yard and a basketball hoop. Yet, not our will, but yours be done, Lord.

As the end of our trip drew near, we still had not secured housing. Should we rent an apartment? Or is it worth it to pay double that to rent a home? We didn’t know. We needed help deciding what to do. We needed the Lord to show us His will for us. It should not surprise us that He did just that, but it seems every time He does we stand in awe.

As we sat and ate our lunch in the sunshine near the fountain on the seminary campus, Dan Hull approached us with a woman and her daughter following closely behind him.

He had a huge grin on his face as he introduced us to Jennifer Lawson, explaining that her husband is graduating soon and they are moving out of their rental home nearby. The Hulls had been trying to no avail to connect us with the Lawsons all week. As she began to tell us about the home, one of the first things she said was “it has a huge yard and a basketball hoop!” As Dave was picking his jaw up off the floor, I began to get goose bumps when I learned that she had been homeschooling her three elementary aged children there for the last four years. It couldn’t have been more clear when she told us they were moving out June 6 (we had to be out of ours on June 7). We knew this was a gift from God when she began to tell us about their landlords and how they were like family to them. She explained that they are believers and view this rental property as a ministry to seminary families. Because of that, the rent is substantially less than that of most homes like it. In fact, the rent was less than most apartments. We were truly in awe. We couldn’t wait to see the house and “close the deal.”

We visited the home the next day and loved it. Adriane had been praying that God would give me a desire to live there and He certainly did. I fell in love with it as I sipped the freshly squeezed lemonade their daughter made from the lemon tree in the back yard. As I watched their children play, I could really envision us living there. I was ready to sign on the dotted line. We soon learned that it was a bit more complicated than that and not a “done deal.” The landlords were godly people that wanted to pray about who would live there next. They were considering opening it up to the seminary and conducting interviews and wanted to know everything about us.

The next day was Sunday and we were headed back to Iowa after church. While we were thrilled to be able to listen to John MacArthur preach, we were also feeling a little discouraged that we had not secured housing. We were getting on a plane that afternoon and we still didn’t have a place to live. Thankfully, George Lawson went out of his way to arrange for us to meet their landlords, in hopes that they might decide to let us live there after all. George had certainly given us his stamp of approval, which was worth a lot to them. So, it was there in the sunny plaza that we met Nehemiah and Victoria Chua for the first time. Victoria asked Dave several questions about his walk with Christ and decision to go into ministry.

After a few moments, Nehemiah turned to Victoria and said, “Well, what do you think?”

She paused a moment and replied, “We will pray about it.” We decided to exchange contact information and get in touch again later. As Dave turned to write down our information, my heart was breaking. I had such wonderful anticipation and I was crushed.

While Dave was writing,Victoria turned to Nehemiah and said, “What do you think?”

He replied, “I think it’s okay. I trust George.”

Victoria said, “You’ve made up your mind?”

Nehemiah replied, “Yes, I made it up last night.”

She turned to me with a beautiful smile and said, “it’s yours!”

We embraced and tears stung my eyes as all of us rejoiced together. The same God that turns the hearts of kings had turned their hearts toward us. What a wonderful Lord we serve!

As we walked into Grace Community Church, my heart was dancing. I was so thankful for His lovingkindness and provision once again. As the service began, I looked up and saw Victoria smiling at us from the choir pews in the front of the sanctuary. I almost could not believe my ears when Pastor MacArthur read this scripture at the beginning of the service.

“And they prayed and said, “You Lord, who know the hearts of all, show which one of these two you have chosen.” Acts 1: 24

Just as the lot fell on Matthias, God assured that the lot would fall upon us as the new tenants in this home. God was confirming for me yet again His complete and total sovereignty over all. He was assuring me that this came to pass by His hand alone. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

So this is our new home. I love it here. Where is it, you ask? Why, of course, it’s right smack dab in the middle of where I said I would not live, but it’s also right smack dab in the center of God’s will for us. I love the beautiful rose bushes growing in the yard. I love the Jewish lady across the street, the rowdy college kids next door, and Mr. Perez who pushes his grandson in the stroller around the block. I love the squeaky floor and the portable dishwasher that I have to hook up to the sink. But most of all, I love that the Lord lives here, that because of Him alone, our rooms are filled with the precious and pleasant riches of Christ.

From Public High School Teacher to Seminary Student - Part 2

2010-05-18T20:15:00.000-07:00

This Old House
Click here to read part 1.

Sometimes the cloud was a few days over the tabernacle, and according to the command of the Lord they remained in camp; then according to the command of the Lord they set out. Numbers 9:20

The passage above has become a dear one to me. God prepared my heart with it over a year ago as I studied the journey of the Israelites and began to get a glimpse of what it must have been like to be settled into a place and then told to move. It was a precious lesson about faith and obedience. Though the Israelites had the visual presence of God within a cloud and knew clearly just when to move, we too have been given guidance in His word. As the Lord began to press upon our hearts and show us that we are to move to California, we knew the next step was packing up our tent – a.k.a. selling our house.

As we discussed all the details involved in selling a house, we faced a very real fear…what if it didn’t sell? Would we still move our family to California for Dave to attend seminary? After much prayer and discussion, we decided that yes, we would still go whether or not the house sold. A calling is a calling…period. It’s not a conditional or contingent agreement with God about Him doing this and then we’ll do that. It is a step of faith…trusting Him. Worrying would be failure to believe God at His word. So, we resolved to do everything we could to sell the house, but to go to California even if it didn’t sell.

Over the weeks that followed, we began to do what everyone who wants to sell their home does…clean, declutter, paint, etc. As I moved from room to room, memories came flooding back. This is the first and only home we have ever owned. This is the home I brought my first baby home to…and my second…and my third. Every corner seemed to tell a story. As I went through the bedrooms, I remembered nursing and rocking each child in the rocker by the nursery window. I remembered cuddling up in bed reading bedtime stories and tending to sick children through the night. The basement brought back memories of all the family movie nights – eating pizza and giggling until past bedtime. Then there was the living room with the front window seat that our new puppy has claimed as his own this past year. And the comfy recliner that Dave sits in when he reads to the kids at night. And last but not least - the kitchen with its memories of baking cookies with the kids, hanging out around the island with friends after bible study, and Dave’s Saturday morning French toast. As I washed dishes that night, I looked out my kitchen window and saw my children playing happily on the swing set in the back yard. I pondered a moment about how this might be one of the last times I look out this particular window watching my children play in this yard, on this swing set. I know it all sounds a little silly, but it’s true. I got very sentimental and nostalgic during that time. It was wonderfully bittersweet. I was more and more endeared to my family as I thought about all the memories that have been made in this old house.

It also made me a little nervous. This house is all I have ever known. This street, this neighborhood, this town…it is my home. I know every little knook and cranny. I know and love all the little quirks. I love that I have to lean against the front door to get the dead-bolt to lock. I love that the floor creaks right in front of the window. I love that you have to jiggle the handle on the toilet when it runs. I love that the neighbor kids come over every afternoon and know where I keep the snacks. I love living two minutes from the pharmacy, the grocery store and the library. This is my home and it is comfortable. Will I ever love another home, another neighborhood, another community this much? Especially one in southern California, in L.A.? It didn’t seem likely to me at that point and I began to fret and worry. What were we thinking? Why in the world would we leave a place like this…and for what again? Seminary?

As the doubts and fears whirled around in my mind, I wondered if Sarah might have had some similar feelings. She didn’t even know where they were going…just that Abraham said God told him they had to go. We might assume they didn’t have much back in that time period, but Sarah’s house was nothing to wink at. Historical records show they had over a dozen rooms and at least two courtyards. I wonder if she went around each room reminiscing before they left. I wonder if she had doubts and fears.

In His great compassion, the Lord comforted me and reminded me that I have nothing to fear and that He is watching over my life. I am continually amazed by how personal God is, caring about the details of my life. I am also continually blessed by His faithfulness, especially when I am faithless. During a season when I should be the most “spiritual” and spirit-filled, I found myself busy and distracted. While I should have been praying and reading the word, I was consumed with all the details of preparing the house to sell, when only one thing was needful. Thankfully, the Lord sought me out and delivered me out from all my fear and anxiety. One day while I was packing up and cleaning up the basement, I put in a CD called "Redemption" by Sons of Korah. As I went about my work, the words of Psalm 121 hit me like a mac truck. I stopped packing and sat down on the couch and listened and wept. It was like the Lord was speaking right to me.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

What was I worried about? The same God who has watched over my life the past twelve years in this house promises to watch over me forever. He does not slumber. He will not let my foot slip.

Yes, it was time to make this real. So, after much painting and primping, this old house was ready to show. So, we listed it on a Friday and put the sign in the yard. By Monday we had our first showing. As I flitted around the house fluffing and primping its pretty walls and floors, I thought about who might be coming and what they would think. Would it be a young couple just starting out like we were 12 years ago or a retired couple, or a family with kids like us? We threw the kids and the dog in the car and went to the park during the showing. By nine o’clock that night, we had an offer. It had only been four days and the first couple to walk through the house bought it. It was almost too good to be true.

“Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far? And yet this was a small thing in your eyes, O Lord God.” 2 Samuel 7:18-19

Was God really this clear? So far in our lives, He has been. Perhaps he knows we are of little faith and need a big neon signs that say “go this way!”

As Dave and I sat on the couch that night, we just held each other and wept. It was a happy and a sad cry. We were so thankful to God and praising Him for his guidance and provision, and yet sad to say good-bye to this life here. Selling the house made it real. It was time to go.

Whether it was two days, or a month, or a longer time, that the cloud continued over the tabernacle, abiding there, the people of Israel remained in camp and did not set out, but when it lifted they set. Numbers 9:22

From Public High School Teacher to Seminary Student (Part 1)

2010-05-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. Genesis 12:1

We have often thought what great faith Abram had to obey God, even though he did not know where He was going (Hebrews 11:8). Indeed, he did have great faith, but it was not something he mustered up on his own, for faith itself is a gift (Ephesians 2:8,9) What matters is the object of faith, namely Jesus Christ. We’re not patriarchs, but recently Dave and I have felt a bit like Abram and we are thankful that it’s not up to us to muster the faith to obey. For we are about to embark upon a journey that involves leaving everything we know to answer a call to ministry.

We have sensed a spirit of preparation for something for quite some time. We both felt that we were living in a season of preparation for some kind of ministry…we just weren’t sure what it was yet. I suspect it was born in our hearts some time during 2005, which turned out to be a spiritual landmark year of sorts. Not only was that the year we switched churches and our son was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, it was also the year we attended our first missions conference. At the end of the service, the pastor invited anyone who felt called to missions to come down front and pray. He made it clear that this public profession did not necessarily mean you were headed out on the next plane to Zimbabwe, but that you were answering the call to missions whether that was in your own neighborhood or half way around the world. Before we knew it we were out of our seats and down in front praying. It was one of those moments I will never forget – when Dave looked at me, his face and eyes had the look of exactly what I was also feeling. He said, “I have to go down there,” and I responded with, “I know. I’m coming too.” We were both feeling a clear “call” to serve the Lord, whatever and wherever that meant. We got up and walked hand in hand to the front as if to say, “Yes, Lord. Here am I. Send me.” That was five years ago. Much has happened in our lives during that time and God has allowed us to be used by Him right here at home, even through our own failures and frailties. Mostly, though, it has been a season of personal growth and pruning, of sanctification, of coming to know Him deeper. Through it all, God has continued to increase our desire to serve Him full time in vocational ministry, finding ourselves most filled with joy when we can share the word with others.

While it is true that God can be glorified through secular employment (1 Corith. 10:31, Colossians 3:23), Dave’s job as a public high school teacher was becoming increasingly challenging as his desire to share the gospel and teach the word continued to grow. Depressed and lost students approached him constantly with questions and cries for help. He was deeply bothered by the fact that he couldn’t share the hope of Christ; he felt his tongue was bolted and his hands were tied. The fact that he was prohibited to share the gospel while at school, the one thing he lives to do, was weighing very heavily upon him. It was painful to know the answer and not be able to share it with a lost world. So many people have told us that he is a “light in the darkness” and there is no denying God has used him over the years. However, the reality is that apart from the gospel, his positive moral lifestyle was futile and powerless. The gospel of Jesus Christ is our only hope and is “the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes” (Rom 1:16) and “faith comes by hearing and hearing through the word of Christ” (Rom 10:17).

While we have known for quite some time that Dave was soon to be called out of the public school system, we weren’t sure what we were being called to yet. We needed wisdom and the Lord is faithful to give it when we ask (James 1:5). He promises to grant it to us through the fear of the Lord and the knowledge of Jesus Christ.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Proverbs 9:10

As we look to Jesus Christ, we are instructed in the path of life. He, Himself is wisdom, understanding, and knowledge. What a blessing to know that as we come to know Him deeper, He guides us in each and every step of our lives.

And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him,

The Spirit of wisdom and understanding,

The Spirit of counsel and might,

The Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. Isaiah 11:2

So, forgetting what lies behind, we strained forward to what lie ahead, pressing on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14). As we continued to pray and study the word, we were blessed exponentially. We began to understand that this wasn’t about knowing what we were being called to, but who - it is simply about knowing Him (Philippians 3:10). God answered our plea and began to show us more and more about his character and nature that we had not yet known (Jeremiah 33:3). He revealed so much to us, but one of the most life-changing attributes He showed us in His word was how sovereign He is in all things, including salvation (see this post). Our view of God was completely turned upside down as we were convinced through the reading of His word that we had been worshipping a god who was omniscient and omnibenevolent, but not sovereign in all things. We finally understood it was God who drew us and gave us the gifts of repentance and faith in Christ. There was and is nothing about us or our lives deserving of His gift of Christ dying in our place and drawing us to Himself through the Gospel.

That was the beginning of what turned into a voracious appetite Dave had for studying scripture and theology. He started staying up into the wee hours of the morning, digging through scripture, cross-referencing, reading commentaries and systematic theologies, and loving every minute of it. Not only was he learning and loving it, but he was using his gift of teaching to instruct me and others in what he was learning. Through church and small group Bible studies, it became clear that He had a gift for teaching the word to others.

Close friends kept asking him when he was going to go to seminary. His answer was always the same. He would humbly thank them, but insist that he didn’t want to be a pastor; he just wanted to learn the word…(oh and by the way, teach it). It was during that time that I began to pray about him going into the ministry. I wasn’t sure how or when, but it seemed quite likely that was where he was headed, but I needed confirmation from the Lord.

Within a few months, Dave was forced to answer the question, “Are you being called to go into full-time vocational ministry? And if so, what’s holding you back?” Thanks to some faithful brothers in Christ, who were willing to hold his feet to the fire and hold him accountable, he was forced to truly pray and seek wisdom for the question he had been running from. At this same time, Dave was studying about the purpose and function of the local church and God clearly showed him through scripture the importance and necessity of pastors “to equip the saints for the work of the ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ” (Eph 4:12-13). The answer, of course, was a resounding, “yes.” In fact, he found that the desire and meditations of his own heart were best said by C.H. Spurgeon in an excerpt addressing one’s call to ministry: “This desire should be one which continues with us, a passion which bears the test of trial, a longing from which it is quite impossible for us to escape, though we may have tried to do so; a desire, in fact, which grows more intense by the lapse of years, until it becomes a yearning, a pining, a famishing to proclaim the Word.”

Though the first question was easy to answer, the second was a bit more painful. As we looked at what was holding us back from leaving everything we knew, uprooting our family, and moving halfway across the country, the only thing we could come up with was fear and worry….basically sin…the sin of not trusting God to provide for our every need. Well, God has something to say about that too.

²⁵ "Therefore I tell you ,do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?²⁸And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. ³³But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:25-33

So the real question was, “do we believe God or not?” This was a crisis of belief. We either believe God and obey…or we don’t. As Henry Blackaby says in Experiencing God about this kind of God-sized step, “You cannot stay where you are and go with God.” That is what was happening to us and we knew the next step was critical. We could either ignore all this and go on with our lives as if nothing happened, or Dave could apply to seminary. Dave’s acceptance to The Master’s Seminary in southern California was only the first of a series of providential circumstances that have confirmed the Lord’s blessing in this next chapter or our lives. California, here we come!

Commit your way to the Lord

Trust in Him and He will act. Psalm 37:5

Stay tuned for part 2.

Why would a public school teacher choose to homeschool his children?

2009-08-13T06:52:00.000-07:00

Why would a public school teacher choose to homeschool his children?

Many people have asked me that question since we recently decided to educate our children at home beginning this fall. AJ will be in 5^th grade, Zach in 3^rd and Olivia in kindergarten. Some of our dearest friends have asked us why we would not enroll our children in the very system in which I am employed. These are good questions and ones that deserve honest answers. This is not a decision that we came to impulsively. Rather it was one that we fervently prayed over and sought answers to within the Bible, while also seeking godly counsel. Over the years, as Christy and I have faced several life-changing decisions, the Lord has always been faithful to unite our hearts in agreement. In this post, I will be addressing the issue of “why” we decided to homeschool our kids. If you want the story of “how” we came to this decision, read Christy’s post here.

Writing this post has been a good exercise as it has caused us to examine our goals for our children and our motives for choosing to educate them at home. As a public high school English teacher, I understand the value of education. I work in a high quality system (one of the best in the state) committed to academic success. I have seen many students excel within this system and go on to be very successful in their lives and careers. As a teacher within this system, I honor my employer and community by striving to provide the best quality education I can to my students. I work with an outstanding staff who work hard to provide the best education possible to students. I have many close friends who are fellow teachers and staff in the school district.

So why homeschool? As a Christian, my source of truth and authority on all things is the Bible.

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, thatthe man of Godmay be competent,equippedfor every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17 ESV).

The Bible is clear that parents should consider their children as a gift from God and we have the responsibility to give our kids a Christian education and to disciple them in the ways of Scripture.

“And Jesus came and said to them, ‘All authorityin heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore andmake disciples ofall nations, baptizing theminthe name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching themto observe all thatI have commanded you. And behold,I am with you always, tothe end of the age’” (Matthew 28:18-20).

I used to think that education and discipleship could be done in two different environments by different groups of people, but the Bible is clear that education and discipleship are the same. One cannot be successfully completed apart from the other. The Great Commission in Matthew 28:18-20 is a command from Christ, not a suggestion, and our part of it begins (but doesn't end) in our own home. Our decision to homeschool is mainly about the discipleship of our children.

What dreams and desires do we have for our children and how are we helping them achieve these things? Do we want them to be financially successful in lucrative careers? Do we want them to have a bigger house than we have now and enjoy the “nicer” things of life? Do we want them to be powerful and influential in the world? Is it wrong to have nice things and pursue financial success? No, of course not, but Christ’s teaching of what is most important is repeated three times in Scripture:

“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? ” (Matthew 16:26)

“For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? ” (Mark 8:36)

“For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?” (Luke 9:25)

Christ also says, “Butseek firstthe kingdom of God and his righteousness,and all these things will be added to you” Matthew 6:33.

Our greatest desire is for our children to fulfill the greatest two commandments, according to Jesus: “And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. Anda second is like it:You shall love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matthew 22:37-39).

The reason any of us exist at all is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever:

“The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.For God will bring every deed into judgment, withevery secret thing, whether good or evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14).

“So, whether you eat or drink, orwhatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

“Forfrom him and through him and to him are all things.To him be glory forever. Amen” (Romans 11:36).

Christ says we are to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Christy and I have realized that it is very difficult to disciple our children and teach them a Biblical worldview when they are away at school for seven hours a day.

What does the Bible say about discipleship and education? The testimony of Scripture on education and discipleship is clear: teach the truths of the word of God because wisdom and knowledge of all things begins with God.

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;  fools despise wisdom and instruction” (Proverbs 1:7).

“Forthe LORD gives wisdom;  from his mouth come knowledge and understanding” (Proverbs 2:6).

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,  andthe knowledge of the Holy One is insight” (Proverbs 9:10).

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart,  anddo not lean on your own understanding.  In all your waysacknowledge him,  and hewill make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;  all those who practice it havea good understanding.  Hispraise endures forever!” (Psalm 111:10)

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God,who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5).

“thattheir hearts may be encouraged, beingknit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge ofGod’s mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I say this in orderthat no one may delude you with plausible arguments” (Colossians 2:2-4).

“Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted andbuilt up in him andestablished in the faith, justas you were taught, aboundingin thanksgiving. See to it that no one takes you captive byphilosophy andempty deceit, according tohuman tradition, according to theelemental spiritsof the world, and not according to Christ” (Colossians 2:6-8).

“Forthe wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written,‘He catches the wise in their craftiness,’ and again,‘The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.’ Solet no one boast in men. Forall things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, andyou are Christ’s, andChrist is God’s” (1 Corinthians 3:19-23).

“We destroy arguments andevery lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive toobey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed bythe renewal of your mind, that by testing you maydiscern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2).

“Who is wise and understanding among you?By his good conduct let him show his worksin the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is notthe wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual,demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. Butthe wisdom from above is first pure, thenpeaceable, gentle, open to reason,full of mercy and good fruits,impartial andsincere. Anda harvest of righteousnessis sown in peace by those who make peace” (James 3:13-18).

“Do not love the world or the things in the world.If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh andthe desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. Andthe world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:15-17).

“You shall follow my rulesand keep my statutes and walk in them.I am the LORD your God. You shall therefore keep my statutes and my rules;if a person does them, he shall live by them: I am the LORD” (Leviticus 18:4-5).

Scripture is clear that wisdom begins with God and should be taught from His perspective, not a worldly one that ignores a Biblical worldview. This makes our role as parents clear: teach our children the whole counsel of God from the only reliable source of truth in existence—God’s Holy Bible. That means we will teach all subject areas—math, science, literature, history, etc. from a Biblical worldview. The Bible is also clear that this isn’t to be done just on Sundays at church or to try to squeeze it in between school, activities, and life. Our entire home and lives should be immersed in the Scriptures so its truth permeates all that we think and do.

“Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the rulesthat the LORD your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, thatyou may fear the LORD your God, you and your son and your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, andthat your days may be long. Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Youshall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. Andthese words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6: 1-9).

“All your childrenshall be taught by the LORD,  and great shall be the peace of your children” (Isaiah 54:13).

“A disciple is not above his teacher; but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher” (Luke 6:40).

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

“Train up a child in the way he should go;  even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

“for as he calculates in his soul, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7).

“But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers” (Psalm 1:2-3).

“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success” (Joshua 1:8).

“he said to them, ‘Take to heart all the words by which I am warning you today,that you may command them to your children, that they may be careful to do all the words of this law. For it is no empty word for you,but your very life, and by this word you shall live long in the land that you are going over the Jordan to possess’” (Deuteronomy 32:46-47).

“’You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, andyou shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land that the LORD swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the heavens are above the earth’” (Deuteronomy 11:18-21).

“Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all the day. Your commandment makes mewiser than my enemies, for it is ever with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers, foryour testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the aged, for Ikeep your precepts. Ihold back my feet from every evil way, in order to keep your word. I do not turn aside from your rules, for you have taught me. Howsweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Through your precepts I get understanding; ThereforeI hate every false way. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. I have sworn an oath and confirmed it, to keep your righteous rules” (Psalm 119:97-106).

“My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, theywill lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment isa lamp and the teaching a light, and thereproofs of discipline are the way” (Proverbs 6:20-23).

“Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for whilebodily training is of some value, godlinessis of value in every way, asit holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. The saying istrustworthy and deserving of full acceptance. For to this end we toil and strive,because we have our hope set on the living God,who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe. Command and teachthese things. Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believersan example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching” (1 Timothy 4:7-13).

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seekthe things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Foryou have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:1-3).

“But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whomyou learned it and howfrom childhood you have been acquainted withthe sacred writings,which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:14-15).

Another testimony of Scripture on home schooling/home discipleship involves having a multigenerational vision. We aren’t going to homeschool for our kids’ sake only—we are thinking about a multigenerational legacy of our grandkids and great-grandkids being brought up to love the Lord with all their hearts, souls, and minds and being taught all subject areas from a Biblical worldview.

“’And as for me, this is my covenant with them,’ says the LORD: ‘My Spirit that is upon you, and my words that I have put in your mouth, shall not depart out of your mouth, or out of the mouth of your offspring, or out of the mouth of your children’s offspring,’ says the LORD, ‘from this time forth and forevermore’” (Isaiah 59:21).

“Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth! I will open my mouthin a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that ourfathers have told us. We will nothide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, andthe wonders that he has done. He establisheda testimony inJacob  and appointed a law in Israel,  which he commanded our fathers  to teach to their children,  thatthe next generation might know them,  the children yet unborn,  and arise and tell them to their children,  so that they should set their hope in God  and not forgetthe works of God,  butkeep his commandments;  and that they should not belike their fathers,  a stubborn and rebellious generation,   a generationwhose heart was not steadfast,  whose spirit was not faithful to God” (Psalm 78:1-8).

“Tell your children of it,  and let your children tell their children,  and their children to another generation” (Joel 1:3).

“Only take care, andkeep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children” (Deuteronomy 4:9).

This is an impressive testimony of Scripture of what our responsibility is to our children. We are so thankful to our Lord for speaking to us so clearly and for the desire and ability to home disciple our kids. We are doing this completely for His glory, not our own. We can’t wait to see what He has in store for us as we will rely completely on Him during this glorious adventure with our children as we educate them in His truth.

“I have no greater joy than to hear thatmy children are walking in the truth” (3 John 1:4).

Turning My Heart Towards Home

2009-08-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

By the end of this week, I will officially be a stay-at-home-mom, and a homeschooling one at that. The story of how this came to be is a “blog-worthy” tale. It is one that must be told, to the glory of His name. The Lord has been preparing my heart for this for quite some time. My story goes something like this. I went from “rebellious teen living in flagrant sin” to “liberal feminist college student” to “young married self-righteous, religious, hypocrite.” After that - somewhere in my early thirties, God saved me by the washing of regeneration and the renewal of the Holy Spirit (Titus 3:5). What grace the Father bestowed on me for no other reason than His own glory; I certainly didn’t deserve such a gift. Since then, my life has been a gloriously painful process of sanctification. One by one, the Lord has faithfully plucked the idols from my life. Whether it was a through a struggling marriage or a very sick child, He has shown me over and over again that power and steadfast love belong to Him (Psalm 62:12). Bringing me home from the workplace has been one of the most treasured ways I have seen Him at work in my life.

When I was a new Christian, I fully embraced and supported the traditional roles of husband and wife set forth in the Bible. However, it wasn’t until last summer that God showed me the cavernous shortcomings I had in the area of being a wife and mom. I was so over-involved in ministry with public speaking, evangelism, and Bible studies that I had neglected to give the time or energy to the role God speaks of the most for women. It is precious in His sight. Though I love my family and would call them precious, the way I was spending my time did not reflect that. Instead of focusing on my ministry at home – my husband and kids, I was cutting corners so that I could go out and do what I thought was “God’s work.” Somehow, I thought since these were “spiritual” things, I was doing God’s work and it was more important. How thankful I am for the change in perspective that I have had since then.

“What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow.”~Martin Luther

It was just over a year ago when I listened to the “Fulfilled Family” series by Pastor John MacArthur and found myself on my face (see my first blog –9/26/08). Praise be to God, who has continued to counsel and instruct me in His word and show me the path of life.

I will bless the LORD who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:7-11

Last fall, we started to consider the possibility of me staying home with the kids. At that point, homeschooling was not even a glimmer in our eye. We were just hoping to honor and obey God by having me devote more time and energy to the home and kids. But, no matter how many times Dave calculated our budget, we just couldn’t make the numbers work without my salary. So, we continued to pray and wait upon the Lord.

While waiting upon the Lord’s direction, we began focusing on family discipleship within our own home. Dave began to lead us in family worship through Bible reading, devotions, prayer and singing together. As we opened up the word with our kids, our home began to transform. We began to memorize scriptures together in attempts to frame a Biblical worldview. Over time, we began to see discipleship differently. Previously, we had viewed education and discipleship separately. By searching the scriptures and seeking godly counsel from books grounded in solid biblical doctrine, we began to see that education and discipleship are inseparable in scripture.

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deuteronomy 6:6-7

It was about this time that we began to gain a deeper understanding of what homeschooling was all about. It wasn’t just doing school at home as we had previously thought. It was about home discipleship. We only had two problems now. First, I didn’t really have the desire to homeschool. Though Dave was fully on board for me to homeschool our kids, he knew it would take a work of God to get me there. The second problem was we couldn’t afford for me to quit my job and give up 40% of our income. The first problem obviously took precedence. There was no use praying about the money and the job if it wasn’t something I had a passion for. I don’t know which is more miraculous – the fact that He changed my heart or the fact that He made it possible for me to stay home.

You see, I thought homeschooling was a fine idea for some people, I just didn’t think it was for me. I desperately hoped it wasn’t something God was calling me to. There were several reasons I could come up with, but the biggest reason was that would mean my kids were home all day, every day. You see, I’m not one of those mothers who just naturally thrives on spending time with her children. I do love the little darlings, but I also love a day off when I can drop them at school and head to Starbucks for a mocha with the girls. I’m not one of the moms who dreads for the summer to end and the first day of school to come. I’m usually the one counting down the days to some “me time.” Yes, God had His work cut out for Him. This was not something I was going to come by naturally.

That’s one of the most amazing things about God – the power of His Spirit in the heart of man. I’m not sure exactly when or how it happened, but I began to have a deeper desire to just be with my children. The time I spent with them was somehow more precious and treasured. I found myself playing with them more and being enamored with them. I found myself amazed at how their little brains worked – my eyes were even tearing up over watching their little mouths move as they read new library books. I wasn’t sure what was happening at that point, but I was thankful for this new perspective of these precious little people in my life. At the same time, we were reading more and more about the importance of home discipleship. It wasn’t long and I was sold, “lock, stock, and barrel.” I wanted to homeschool. I had a new heart-felt desire that was not of myself – a desire to bring my kids home and teach them everything from a Biblical perspective.

What happened next was the final providential “deal-breaker”, or rather “deal-maker.” As Dave and I prayed about what to do, we both sensed God might be calling me to walk away from my job and trust Him to provide. We began to pray that if this were truly His will, that He would make it clear to us. In my own prayers, I told God that if He really wanted me to do this, He was going to have to do it for me. I didn’t have enough faith to walk away from this perfect job that I love. What if I was wrong? What if it didn’t work out? How would we make ends meet? As these doubts and questions swirled in my mind, I told God that if He really wanted me to walk away from this job, I wished He would just take it away from me. It was only a couple weeks before I received that call. My boss called me to tell me she was retiring early and closing the clinic. I was out of a job. As I sat there grinning on the other end of the line, I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt what we were being called to do. I could almost hear Him say,
"This is the way, walk in it."

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Isaiah 30:21

To All the Roses Out There

2009-05-26T10:44:00.000-07:00

Where I've Been

2009-05-21T13:12:00.000-07:00

It has been almost five months since my last blog. The best way to describe where I have been during this time is with a picture like this one. No, I haven’t been in Colorado, but I have been at the top of a proverbial mountain – a spiritual mountaintop, if you will. To borrow an analogy from John Piper, I feel as though I have been standing at the top of the mountain, speechless with my mouth hanging open, gaping at the vastness that lies before me. God has shown me some remarkable things about Himself on this mountaintop. In so doing, He has greatly enlarged my view of Him and shown me how much more I have to learn and how many more wonderful peaks there are to climb.

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been His counselor? Or who has given a gift to Him that he might be repaid? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen. – Romans 11:33-36 (ESV)

I dare say the past five months has perhaps been the greatest time of spiritual growth I have experienced thus far in my walk with the Lord. Much of what God has revealed to me has literally left me speechless, which is quite a feat. Silencing this chatty gal is no easy task. However, silence and solitude were quite necessary for me to learn what the Lord had to teach me. For months, I simply could not find the words to articulate what He was revealing to me about Himself. My perception of the very nature and attributes of God was challenged and dramatically enlarged during this time. While I have found it almost impossible to blog about, it was equally impossible to blog about anything else because it spilled over into every other area of my life. As Paul Washer says, "a true Christian cannot bear or even survive a divorce between emotion and intellect or between devotion to God and the doctrine of God." The word "doctrine" is often perceived to be a cold, churchy and legalistic word. The word actually just means the truths taught in the Bible. So doctrine, a.k.a. truth taught in the Bible matters....it matters a lot.

"Sound, biblical doctrine is a necessary aspect of true wisdom and authentic faith. The attitude that scorns doctrine while elevating feelings or blind trust cannot legitimately be called faith at all, even if it masquerades as Christianity. It is actually an irrational form of unbelief." - John MacArthur

But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Titus 2:1 (ESV)

The truths/doctrines revealed in the Scriptures must be the very foundation upon which we build our belief and behavior. Theology and reality are forever intertwined for the Christian. One cannot be separated from the other.

Through my study of the scriptures over the last several months, my eyes have been opened to some wonderful things about the sovereignty of God in all things, including salvation. It is no coincidence that God was simultaneously showing my husband the same things in his personal study of reformed theology and the historic doctrines of Christianity. It was everywhere we turned and there every time we opened our Bibles - God is truly Sovereign over all and this truth has become an integral part of the very fabric of our beings. God’s electing love was never more evident than in His sovereign act of selecting Israel to receive His grace while withholding it from Pharaoh.

For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. Deuteronomy 7:6 (ESV)

"I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion." So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, "For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." So then He has mercy on whomever He wills, and He hardens whomever He wills. Romans 9:15-18 (ESV)

It is with great fear and trembling that I attempt to articulate what it is He has shown me by His grace. It is as though I have been shown the door to a room that I never knew existed. I have barely begun to explore all that is contained within, and already I am awestruck of the vastness of His sovereignty and glory. It is overwhelming, to say the least, to think that the only thing that has saved me from the wrath of God is His own good will and pleasure. He saved me because He saved me, not because I had great faith or merit or because I gave Him permission to enter my heart. He doesn’t need permission to do anything. He is the Lord of the universe. I am not sovereign over my own salvation…He is. The fact that He predestined me for salvation before the foundation of the universe has almost been too much to wrap my brain around.

Even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:4-6(ESV)

As I look back over the last year, I realize now that He began to prepare my heart many months ago. In a post from October 2008 called “New Glasses”, He was beginning to teach me about spiritual blindness. He is now beginning to reveal the depth of that is greater than I thought. I used to think my salvation was 99% God and 1% me – that He did the grace part and I did the faith part – that I was “bright” enough to understand the gospel, and “humble” enough to repent and believe. What He has shown me has brought me to my knees in gratitude. I am beginning to understand that even my repentance and faith are gifts from Him. Apart from the power of the Holy Spirit, I would not have ears to hear or eyes to see the beauty and glory of the Gospel.

The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. I Corinthians 2:14 (ESV)

No one can come to Me unless it is granted him by the Father. John 6:65 (ESV)

For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
Romans 8:7-8 (ESV)

How grateful I am that He lifted the veil and allowed me to see myself condemned under the Law. Without it, I would have never known my need for a Savior. He raised me from death to life, and brought me out of the dominion of darkness into the Kingdom of the Son whom He loves. It is the grace of God, not my own strength or faithfulness, even less my righteousness that has saved me. Salvation is 100% of the Lord (Jonah 2:9) - achieved by the effectual call of the Father, the atoning work of the Son, and the new life through the Spirit. A friend of ours likens our spiritual condition apart from Christ to being dead at the bottom of the lake. When Christ saved me, I was lifeless, without a pulse in need of spiritual CPR. I wasn't just blind, I was dead. I wasn’t just drowning and scrambling for air near the surface of the water. Jesus didn’t throw me a life raft to grasp onto. I couldn’t have grabbed ahold of it if he did. It would have hit my cold dead corpse without a response. In the same way, I could no more choose Christ and be born again than Lazarus could have walked out of the tomb without Christ first resurrecting him. Before Christ saved me, I wasn’t just sick….I was dead - spiritually dead. He had to breathe life into me before I could even see Him as Savior and Lord. My repentance and faith aren’t what earned my salvation – that would give me some kind of merit and then grace wouldn’t be grace. My repentance and faith are gifts of the salvation He Himself solely and sovereignly accomplished for me.

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins. For by grace you have been saved, through faith. And this is not of your own doing, it is the gift of God, not a result of works so that no one may boast. It is a gift of God. Ephesians 2:1,8, 9 (ESV)

So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace. But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.
Romans 11:5-6 (ESV)

Our sovereign Lord is the only One who can remove the heart of stone and give a heart of flesh. The new birth in Christ is truly a miracle graciously wrought by God in converting the soul of man. May He receive all glory, honor and praise!

Keeping CHRIST at the Center of CHRISTmas

2008-12-23T18:53:00.001-08:00

My 4 year old daughter recently reminded me to keep Christmas in perspective this year by keeping CHRIST at the center. While visiting my mom one morning, Olivia happily played with the stuffed nativity set and snowmen that my mom made. Only a grandma would take the time to stop and notice the arrangement Olivia had made. She said, "Christy, look at how she has arranged the figures." As you can see, she put "Baby Jesus" in the center with everyone else, including the snowmen circled around Him in worship. She even put little gifts around Him. Ahhhh, the perspective of a child! He is so worthy of all our praise and worship! Let's all remember to keep Him at the center this Christmas and always! Take time to watch these short videos some time in the next couple days. You'll be glad you did. They really put into perspective the reason for the season of CHRISTmas. God bless you.

The Real Christmas Story with John MacArthur

Bad News: Santa Claus is Coming to Town by John Piper

A Little Off Balance

2008-12-15T19:59:00.000-08:00

My washer has been on the fritz for several months now. After faithfully enduring load after load of clothes for the last 15 years, it is starting to scream “uncle!” The biggest problem is that it gets off balance if I do a large load. Now, I have been known to overstuff things on occasion (just ask my husband about his pet peeve of my habit of filling the trash to overflowing). However, this loyal appliance and I have gotten to know each other over the years and I know what she can and cannot take. That is, until recently when she got all wimpy on me and can only hack a medium load of clothes. I’m a slow learner though and I continue to try to fill her to the brim like I could in the old days. It has been a hair splitting experience as it begins the spin cycle and makes this horrible clunking noise. As water spills out the top, the old machine begins to shake, rattle and roll across the floor. After a few big clunks it stops and I have to open the lid, rearrange the clothes and pray that it gets back on track. It usually doesn’t, so I have to stand there and baby it through the entire spin cycle, opening, rearranging, closing, opening, rearranging and closing, over and over again. Perhaps it’s time to call the repair man, huh?

Today as I coddled my washer through another spin cycle, I thought how much my life has been like that recently. You see, I got completely off balance and off track over the past week and my train derailed big time! It all started after I shared my testimony of coming to faith in Jesus Christ at a women’s event. Almost immediately, I started experiencing doubt and discouragement over it all. In my spirit I knew that I was likely being attacked by the fiery darts of the enemy who prowls about seeking someone to devour (I Peter 5:8). I knew that any time the redeeming work of Christ in a life transformed is shared, Satan is not happy. Despite my knowledge of the true victory of Christ, I could not seem to snap out of it. Instead of recognizing that I was in the midst of a battle and strapping on my armor, I overfilled my life with all the temporal stuff of the season. My schedule and my mind were filled with “stuff” like television, Christmas parties, shopping, gift wrapping, and baking, and on and on. I was going in a million different directions just trying to keep my head above water. I was doing a million different things, but in none of them was I seeking first His kingdom.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

By the end of the week, I was very depressed. My prayer life had taken a nose dive and it was a struggle to get anything out of the word. I was sleeping in until the last minute instead of rising early to meet with my Lord. I was going to bed early instead of reveling in the quiet time with my husband after the kids went to bed. I was overeating. I was not exercising. I had neglected doing devotions with the kids and I wasn't helping them memorize their Bible verses. I was irritable. I was snapping at them in anger and impatience. In short, I was living in defeat. I was letting the enemy do what he does best.

The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. John 10:10

As I look back over the course of the week and wonder how I ended up in this pit of despair, I am able to glean from the experience a couple of things. The first, of course, is the obstacle of my own sin…the sin of pride. Whether thinking too highly of myself or too lowly of myself, it’s still thinking of myself…not Him. My thoughts needed to shift from me-centered to God-centered. I need to seek His kingdom first not mine. The second snare was trying to muddle through the week on my own strength instead off crying out to God and relying upon Him. I should have stopped everything and set myself before Him on my knees. Instead, I stuffed and stuffed my life with the temporary trappings of this world, hoping they would somehow distract me and dull my pain. I should have armored up for battle.

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, andhaving put on the breastplate of righteousness, and as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. Ephesians 6: 11-15

Thankfully, God is patient and kind. As I clunked along last week like that old washer, He stood over me with compassion and love, gently beckoning me back to Him. He reminded me that He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world (I John 4:4). His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30). He alone will give me rest for my soul. After I finished throwing my little pity party, He took all the lies and darkness in my mind and replaced it with His righteousness and truth. He chastened me back to Him and set my feet upon the Rock. He has faithfully awakened me each morning this week and called me to Himself. I have a whole new perspective as He has set me back on the path of righteousness, once again. As my friend, Abbie once said, "He commanded me to rise up and act like a redeemed daughter." Praise the Lord that He gives me the strength to do so. It's only by His grace and for His glory. Now that’s a lot better than a repair man!

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy. Jude 1:24

Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. Revelations 12:10

Zach - Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

2008-11-16T12:21:00.000-08:00

It has been awhile since my last blog. The last few weeks have been difficult. Our son, Zach, had an MRI of his brain done to rule out a brain tumor that might have been causing problems with his eyes. While we were thrilled there was no brain tumor, what they found, or didn’t find, sent us to our knees. We learned that Zach never developed an important connective pathway in the brain called the corpus callosum. It is a thick structure composed of over 200 million nerve fibers and is responsible for the communication between the right and left hemispheres of the brain. Since it never developed while he was in my womb, it is literally absent. That means Zach has a rare condition called agenesis of the corpus callosum (ACC). We have learned a great deal about this condition in the past few weeks and you can click here or here to learn more. God created our brains with an amazing ability to compensate, so there is an extremely broad spectrum of manifestations for this particular condition. Some children born with this are severely mentally retarded, while others have no problems at all. However, many kids with ACC have difficulties with social development and that is our primary concern with Zach. Though he has no academic or motor developmental delays, he does show some immaturity socially compared to his peers. He seems to have a lack of self awareness and difficulty understanding the perceptions of others; knowing this diagnosis helps to explain much of that.

One of the most concerning things for us is that the social challenges may become more problematic as he gets older. When I first learned of the abnormality, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Instead of running to the word of God as I should have, I ran to the internet. I read things like “they fall behind their peers in social and mental functioning as they approach adolescence”, and “they have challenges with peer interactions and relationships that increase with age and complexity of the social situations”, and “becomes more evident with age.” …..and I sobbed and sobbed. All I could think about was all the things Zach might miss out on. All the “what ifs” were endlessly reeling in my mind. What if he doesn't have any friends? What if he never gets married? What if he experiences the emotional pain of not fitting in? What if he can never truly come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ? For those first few days, every time I looked at Zach, I cried over the loss of the normalcy I had hoped for his future. I remember swallowing back tears as I read bedtime stories to my children with a lump in my throat. I would stifle the tears until the kids were all tucked in bed and then have one of those guttural cries in the arms of my husband.

Since then, God has spoken to my heart and changed my perspective in an amazing way. The Lord has faithfully used the healing balm of His word and the koinonia of the body of Christ to speak truth over me. I realize this affliction is nothing compared to what others have to bear, but for me it has been another valley in which the lovingkindness of the Lord has been magnified. He has shown me so much through this trial and I must speak of His faithfulness.

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,
That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
Psalm 30:11-12

I will sing of the lovingkindness of the LORD forever; To all generations I will make known your faithfulness with my mouth. Psalm 89:1-2

I am blessed to be married to a godly man. As he dries my tears, Dave faithfully reminds me that this life is but a vapor, and that we are blessed to have this new struggle to endure - that it will draw us closer to one another and closer to the Lord. He reminds me to have an eternal perspective, not a worldly one. If we view this circumstance through the lens of a follower of Christ, we have reason to rejoice.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encountervarious trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may beperfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:3-4

I would be lying if I said I no longer slip into the sin of worry and unbelief, but the Lord has literally turned my tears into laughter and my fear into trust. Now, instead of looking at Zach and thinking “what if ”, I more often think “what a miracle, thank you Lord.” Instead of snapping at Zach in anger and impatience when he misbehaves, I more often stop and calmly respond to him. Though it has helped me to be a better mommy and to love Zach in a way I might not have otherwise, the greater lesson has been faith growing as it has caused me to consider what it is I put my hope in. Where is it that my treasure truly lies and what do I hold most precious? I have imagined the worst case scenarios with Zach, but it has caused me to remember that my hope is not in health or even happiness. My hope is in Christ alone, who is far more concerned about my holiness than my happiness. It is not because Zach has hope for a normal life that God is good. Even he faces a life time of social challenges, God is still good and His grace is still sufficient. How many believers are faced with the struggle of a severely disabled child or even the death of a child? Is God not still gracious and faithful then? Though the grace of God is demonstrated in this world, the greater grace is demonstrated in the sacrifice of His only Son, whom He sent to die in my place, paying the ransom due for my sin, so that I might have eternal life and know Him.

But God demonstrates His own love in that Christ died for us while we were yet sinners.
Romans 5:8

Yes, our little Zach is a walking miracle. Things could have been much worse. They could have found a brain tumor, he could have been severely mentally disabled, but the worst thing would have been going through this trial without knowing Christ. The mother of an infant daughter battling cancer put it much better than I ever could:

“The worst thing possible, however, would be if we didn't have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. There would be no point or purpose for this trial. There would be no growth or peace or protection. God is good. He makes no mistakes and He only does things that will help us grow in our walk with Him. We are continually singing His praises as He works in us.”

For those of you wondering if we told Zach, we did. We used as few details as possible, but told him that God made his brain a little different and very special. To which he replied,

"Okay... is the French toast ready yet?"

Bearing One Another's Burdens

2008-10-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

By the grace of God, I was able to cross the finish line in a recent road race with my dear sister in Christ and running partner. God worked in some amazing ways during the run to help me keep my pace and stay strong. Here are just a few of the ways:

His precious word hidden in my heart and resounding in my brain as my feet pounded the pavement.
Many faithful volunteers handing out water, oranges, and even chocolate!
Great Christian songs with inspiring lyrics on my iPod.
A random runner wearing a shirt with a verse on it that I’d never read before. (Zephaniah 3:17)

One way surpasses them all though: the way He strengthened me through the body of Christ. I received great encouragement and inspiration through my sister in Christ, as she ran alongside me. We cheered each other on and challenged each other along the way. Crossing the finish line with her is a moment I will never forget. She is the one in the picture waving and smiling. I’m the one that is in her arms about to collapse. This is a great visual of what happens within the body of Christ as we rejoice with one another and we bear one another’s burdens in life.

“Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

Since I was adopted into the body of Christ in recent years, I have been blessed to experience the love of this great family under our Almighty Father. I have learned so much during this time about what it means to truly love one another and have authentic fellowship. In Blackaby’s “Experiencing God” study, he explains that the Greek word, koinonia, is most often translated “fellowship” in the Bible. He describes it as the most complete expression of a love (agape) relationship with God. He says that when you live in this kind of love relationship with God, you will have the same quality of loving fellowship with other believers. He also says you cannot be in fellowship with God and His Son and not walk in godly fellowship with one another!

“If anyone says, ‘I love God’, yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.” I John 4:20-21

“If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” I John 1:7

I have found this to be so true in my own life. The more I know God, the more I love Him, and the more I love Him, the more I want to be surrounded by other believers. I absolutely adore the followers of Jesus Christ and I find the more they love Him, the more I want to be with them. There seems to be a supernatural kinship between believers whether they've known each other a few minutes or a few decades. I am continually blessed when I meet another believer for the first time and have the feeling that I’ve known her all my life. Being daughters of the Most High God unites us in a way that transcends human understanding.

There are so many things I love about being a Christian and following Christ, but experiencing koinonia with the family of believers is one of the most treasured. I have never experienced such a great love from people outside my own biological family. I have rejoiced with them in times of joy and wept with them in times of sorrow and they are both equally sweet. Though we will each stand alone before God on judgment day, He allows us to walk through this life together, hand in hand. In fact, He commands us to do so. He does not expect us to do it alone. He brings along people to help carry the load and extend a helping hand. I have sensed the presence of His Spirit through other believers in so many ways. There have been times when I could not find the words to pray what the Spirit was groaning in intercession (Romans 8:29), but these dear people spoke out words in prayer on my behalf. They have stood in the gap for me in so many ways. During times when I most needed encouragement, I have received unexpected phone calls and emails from my sisters saying something like, “God laid you on my heart today for some reason and I just want you to know I'm praying for you." How did they know? Because the same Spirit lives inside of them that lives inside of me and He prompted them to respond to His call. I have learned to never ignore it when He pricks my heart to reach out to someone specific. How gracious is our loving Father that He gives us one another! We need each other. Each of us is a vital part in the body of Christ and when we walk in the light of Christ, we are in perfect union.

And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. 1 Corinthians 12:26

New Glasses

2008-10-18T13:08:00.000-07:00

My little boy got glasses this week. Besides the fact that I think he looks adorable, he has also given me something to think about. He is far-sighted, so everything is now magnified by the prescription lenses. One of the first things he said to me with his new specks on was, “Wow, Mommy, you’re HUGE!” Thanks, Zach. A whole new world has opened up for him through his new little peepers. He is seeing things all around the house that before went unnoticed. Yes, like the cobwebs and dust-bunnies that need to be swept away.

That’s a lot like our spiritual blindness. We often don’t know what we don’t know. That was true of my own life before Christ gave me a new heart and made me a new creation. I was going through life doing all kinds of righteous acts like praying, going to Bible study and even talking about Jesus. I believed all the facts about Jesus, including His death and resurrection, but I was still blind and I didn’t even know it. I was a theologically informed Pagan with a great evangelical vocabulary, but I wasn’t a Christian. I came across something quite meaningful in this regard in scripture recently. I have been reading John Macarthur’s book, “The Gospel According to Jesus” and was led to see something in John chapter 9 that I had never understood before. In the account of the blind man’s healing, I saw great similarities to my own life. You may recall how Jesus mixed spittle with dirt, made a clay-like substance, and told him to go wash it off. After he did this, he could see and his physical blindness was healed. Soon after, there was quite a stirring amongst all the people who saw this great miracle. The man gave testimony several times about what Jesus had done, yet this man was still unregenerate and unredeemed. He was walking around talking about the good thing Jesus had done and yet God had not yet removed the veil over his heart and healed his spiritual blindness. It was not until later that Jesus came to him and asked him,

"Do you believe in the Son of Man?" He answered, "Who is He, Lord, that I may believe in Him?" Jesus said to him, "You have both seen Him, and He is the one who is talking with you."
And he said, "Lord, I believe." And he worshiped Him. John 9:35-38

It is here within these verses that this man is saved. Though a miracle occurred in healing his physical blindness, the divine miracle of his salvation was even greater. With his understanding of the truth about Christ, he had newly opened eyes of faith. His response in verse 38 says it all: “he worshiped Him.” Is there any other response for one who now has eyes to see Christ as sovereign Lord? When God opened my eyes to my own sin and how I had offended the very One who gave me breath, I had the godly sorrow that led me to repentance and thereby salvation (2 Corinthians 7:10). My eyes were wide open to my terminal illness of sin and my due punishment of eternal condemnation because of it. As I looked at the ransom paid by Christ on the cross, it was ever so much sweeter than it ever was before. I came running to the mercy seat and I have been dancing ever since. As I read scripture now, I am amazed at my understanding of it. I see things there I never could comprehend before, which is explained in 1 Corinthians.

The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.
1 Corithians 2:14

Before I was saved, I didn’t have the Holy Spirit dwelling within me, teaching me continually through my understanding of the word of God. Now, reading my Bible has become a daily nourishment for my hungry soul and I am so thankful that God opened my eyes to the truth. He has really impressed upon my heart this week that it is He alone who opens eyes and changes hearts. This has been especially meaningful in my relationships with people, especially those who may not yet be born again. I have a peaceful reassurance from Him that if they are to come to salvation, it is He alone that will open their eyes. That doesn’t mean I should stop sharing the Gospel. It is still true that faith comes by hearing the word of Christ (Romans 10:17). However, all the light in the world will not make the blind see apart from the work of Christ. Even Peter could not have said, “You are the Christ”, if God had not removed the scales from his eyes.

Jesus replied, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven.” Matthew 16:17

So my son has a new pair of glasses and so do I. Yes, I have a whole new set of lenses and they are dramatically different than they were in my unregenerate state. Then, I was an enemy of God and did not have the Holy Spirit. Now I have become a child of God and have the Holy Spirit living within me to continually teach and guide me. With my new specks, He is able to continually perfect my vision. Just as Zach is learning to clean his new lenses, God also gradually wipes smudges off my lenses and shows me something new. He who began a good work in me will see it to completion (Phil 1:6). But it will be in His timing, not mine. I want to hurry through trials and get to the other end of them, with as little discomfort as possible. I want to learn the lesson quickly and be done with it. But I must go through the valley if I able to see clearly what it is He wants to show me on the other side of it. As I cry out to God for wisdom and direction in various areas of my life, I often hear Him say,

“I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear.” John 16:12

The way Christ reveals things to me is always slower and more painful than I would like. I want to know and understand it all immediately, without the trial. In a quote from Spurgeon, I was recently reminded of the value of troubles we may face. “We should never enjoy the juice of the grape were it not trodden in the winepress.” Many times I feel like I’m being trodden in the winepress, but I trust that the juice will be ever so much sweeter because of it as I learn all that Christ has to teach me this day.

Be Content With What You Have

2008-10-12T19:40:00.000-07:00

Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have.
Hebrews 13:5

God spoke to my heart and brought me deep conviction through this verse last summer. It was during a time when I was pouting over the decision to stay in our modest home instead of building a new, big and beautiful home in the woods. Through prayer, his Word, and other believers God made it clear that we were not to move. But that didn’t make it any easier to be “content” at that time. How could I be content with what I have knowing what I could have? But, God is faithful and over time He did just that. He comforted my heart and brought me a deep contentment in our present home as I settled into staying put.

Recently though, the more time I spend at home, the more I notice all that needs to be done here. In my plight to become a Proverbs 31 wife, I have realized I must be careful that I don’t fall into the sin of idolatry of my home. I must remember it's about the people here, not the stuff. Just like it says in I Corinthians 10:12, “be careful if you think you are standing firm that you don’t fall”. And that’s just what I did in my endeavor to redecorate. I fell by letting this desire become an idol in my life, distracting me and consuming my thoughts that should be on Jesus and knowing Him.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21

My treasure had become having the perfect home instead of being content in Christ. Getting my new “Safari” paint on the walls had become much more important than it should have been. I’m not saying that having nice things is a sin, or even building a big new beautiful house in the woods is a sin. It’s not. But the place it holds in my heart should never take the rightful place of Christ, as it had for me during these past few weeks. As much as I hate to admit it, it was true. It became painfully clear to me when I sat down to pray or read my Bible and found myself daydreaming about what my home would look like when it was all “done”. It was as if I was saying “when that's done, then I’ll be content.” I thought about how many times I have done that, basing my contentment on my worldly, temporal circumstances. When I get my house the way I want it, then I’ll be content. When this or that happens, then I’ll be content. All of this caused me to take another look at that verse, “be content with what you have”. I started really thinking about what it means to be content and what exactly it is that I have. I was reminded of what Paul said in Philippians.

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:11-13

Paul was clearly talking about a deep contentment that goes beyond physical and earthly comfort. After all, he’d been beaten, stoned, imprisoned, and persecuted and yet he was content. What was it that Paul had that gave him that true peace and contentment?
God showed me the answer even as I pondered what picture to put with this blog. What picture would capture what I have and what God calls me to be content with? What do I have? Putting a picture of my home would be silly. My home is just a place to lie my head and could be taken away in a tornado. What about putting a picture of my family? But I don’t really even “have” them. They all belong to God and could be taken away from me in illness or a car accident. Throughout the course of this week, He has shown me that what I have in Christ goes much deeper than any of that. The second part of Hebrews 13:5 is the answer to how I can always rest in contentment.

He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU”

That alone is the secret of being content. That is what I “have” and where my treasure really lies – in Christ, in my redemption, in my being bought by His ransom, in knowing Him and belonging to Him. No matter what happens, I am in Christ and He has promised never to leave me or forsake me. He has already given me every spiritual blessing under heaven (Ephesians 1:3). How dare I not be content?

So, the test splotches of my new Safari paint still stick out against the old paint like a sore thumb waiting to be painted in full. The old green chair still sits there waiting to be reupholstered. And yes, it still bothers me. But God is patiently teaching me and growing me. So next time I sit down and see the little splashes of Safari paint on the wall, I will remember where my true source of inner contentment comes from and rest in that.

His mercies are new every morning

2008-10-02T20:19:00.000-07:00

“I wish I could start over!”

Those were the words of my 10 year old son as he "fell apart at the seams" one afternoon. For no apparent good reason, he was completely unreasonable and uncooperative and couldn’t concentrate on any particular task despite his desires to do so. In my frustration, I recalled that the weekend had been packed with activity including camping in the woods, playing in his junior football game, and doing homework. Though he wouldn't admit it, I knew he was exhausted. He takes after his mother and requires a great deal of sleep in order to be coherent and cooperative. If we don’t get that, things can get a little ugly in our house! Despite multiple attempts, he just couldn't pull himself together. He fell into a puddle of whimpers, whines and cries that sounded more like my 4 year old, than my oldest and most responsible one. Through the tears, he explained to me that though he wanted to calm down, he just couldn’t. He didn't like the way he was acting and he wanted to feel different, but he didn't know how. Finally in an exasperated sigh, he put his head in his hands and sobbed, “I wish I could just start over!”

Oh, how often I have felt that same way! Whether it’s sleep deprivation or any other thing that sets me off my game, it’s a miserable feeling to “feel” one way when you want to “feel” another. How marvelous is our God that despite our “feelings”, He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and His mercies are new every morning. Perhaps our circumstances haven’t changed, but neither has He. He is still the sovereign ruler of the universe and I am finding that He alone is my peace (Ephesians 2:14).

Just recently, I had one of those days. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. I found myself depressed and downcast. I had quite the little self-pity party and wondered where my peace had gone. I knew I should probably pray and read my Bible, but I just couldn’t, or wouldn’t. So my dear beloved husband prayed over me and sent me to bed, knowing a good night’s rest would be one of the most beneficial things for me.

About 3:30 in the morning, I was awakened, most surely by the Spirit as I felt Him whisper across my soul, “Seek…don’t sleep. Seek….don’t sleep.” In my fatigue and stubbornness, I laid there for two hours wrestling with that thought. Finally, I arose and opened my devotional. Of course, He met me there in His word and spoke right to my heart. The verses for the day were the following:

The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. Isaiah 32:17

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4: 8-9

So, if I want peace, I must seek righteousness. I must arise and seek Him and His word. I must fall on my face and cry out to Him and He alone will give me peace. I must fill my mind with the wonderful things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent and praiseworthy – things that are of God. When I dwell upon the things of God and memorize His word, there is no room for self-pity and depression. Oh, how my perspective had changed that morning. I am so thankful God allows us to “start over” with new mercies every morning.

For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Lamentations 3:22-23

I wannabe a Proverbs 31 woman

2008-09-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

This blog has been a long time coming. If you know me at all, you know that when God shows me something new, I just can’t keep it to myself. This blog was born out of a revelation I had last spring when I realized I was too busy. My life had become so full that I was barely keeping my head above water. Though it was filled with wonderful things like Bible study, coffee with friends, evangelism outreaches and discipleship, it was full nonetheless…too full. Though my marriage was surviving and my children seemed happy, my home seemed in constant disarray. It was a struggle just to have groceries in the cupboards and clean socks in the drawers, let alone take time to plan and cook a healthy meal and sit down to a relaxed dinner with my family. I knew it was time to make some changes and pull out of some of the things I was doing. But, I had been to this decision point before. In fact, my husband assures me that it has become a repeated cycle of being too busy, promising to cut back only to end up at the same place again. However, this time is different…really. Why? Previously, my conviction was “mommy-guilt” and my desire to simplify my life was only in order to maintain sanity and prevent the family from falling apart. This time something was different…very different. This time, my conviction came straight from my Lord and Master and cut right to my heart. God began to prepare my heart with a passage in Revelation chapter 2. I remember weeping as I read it, knowing I had become like the church of Ephesus.

To the angel of the church of Ephesus write: The One who holds the seven stars in his right hand, the One who walks among the seven golden lampstands. Says this:

I know your deeds, your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you have found them to be false, and you have perseverance and have endured for My name’s sake, and have not grown weary.

But I hold this against you, that you have left your first love.

Therefore, remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first.

Revelation 2: 1-5

Had I gotten so busy with ministry, with evangelism and discipleship that I had forsaken the very One who redeemed my life from the pit? Was I so concerned with doing “God’s work” that I was no longer just sitting at His feet and coming to know Him more? In the days that followed, I did just that. I sat at His feet and listened. What He showed me completely changed my perspective as I came to understand His will for me as a wife and mother in Proverbs chapter 31. As I set out for a long run, I turned on my iPod to see what sermon I might listen to. It was keyed up and ready to play a message by Pastor John Macarthur on the role of the wife in a series “The Fulfilled Family”. I remember thinking I probably didn’t really need to listen to this one and actually considering skipping it! I expected to hear about submission, which is something I have embraced and treasured since I came to know the Lord. Little did I know how the Spirit would use it teaching to bring me to godly sorrow realizing how short I have fallen in what God desires for me in the role of the wife and mother in a Biblical family. As Macarthur talked about Proverbs 31 and the expectation God has for women to pour everything they have into their husband, children and home, my heart was breaking. I began to realize how backwards I have everything. I have been so focused on ministry, evangelism and discipleship that I have made that the “main thing”. My family had taken a back seat to all that I have going on. I had spent so much time and energy on people and things outside of home that I had little left for the people that matter most in my life.

A dear friend of mine pointed out a verse within Proverbs 31 that has changed my perspective. It is one that I often refer to now when trying to decide how to spend my time.

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31: 11-12

The way I spend my time should benefit my husband. So, now when I am faced with a decision, I ask myself “Will this benefit my husband? Will it bring him good or evil?”

I was also reminded of the very reason for which woman was created.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

These verses were so freeing to me! Being a prisoner of the Lord and a slave to righteousness is so glorious. God was so clear and so faithful to answer the plea of my heart to show me His will.

I have been amazed at the change that has occurred in my heart and home since this encounter with God last spring. It certainly has not been easy and I have had lots of ups and downs, but He has given me a new desire for my husband and children – the desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman. God tells us that no matter what we're doing, we should do it to glorify Him (I Cor. 10:31). I am coming to understand that this is a season of my life in which I can glorify His name in the simple things like playing Candy Land with my kids and stirring a pot of mashed potatoes. He is teaching me so much through it all. I can’t wait to see what’s next.